its amazing how far the english language has come

i now have to specify that i am “drink” thirsty and not “im on the hunt for dick” thirsty

"Do u need a glass of water, or fifteen minutes of privacy?"

You lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn’t care about losing you.
― Anonymous (via flaews)



Should I Read Spoilers Or Should I Wait: A novel by me

I Should’ve Fucking Waited: A sequel

[[seductively does nothing to indicate I’m attracted to you]]


i dont care WHAT you say or if im a grown man i will not give up my swing for your 3 year old son he can fucking wait his turn

The fucking thought of you with somebody else, I don’t like that.
― Tyler the Creator (via muse)


my sisters dad opened the freezer and a blob of ice fell on his foot and hurt him and he was like yelling and hopping and shit and I was like hey maybe you should put some ice on that


[aggressively thinks about having sex with you while keeping a straight face]